BT said something the other day. I actually don’t remember what it was, but it got me thinking a few days after it.
He said something like we were growing up, or out of a situation. It struck me how true that phrasing was. He didn’t say we were growing – he said “Growing ___” making an association in my mind that wasn’t there before.
I took the concept of growing up from baby to adult, and I applied it to the periods of life after major life changes. Maybe every time we make make a significant life transition we also begin the process of ‘growing up’ in it. Things that puzzled me about my past and experiences suddenly fit.
The time that was really difficult, and it seemed like nothing worked the way it should and it was just constant hard work? The toddler stage with “Terrible Twos”.
(An aside: I don’t advocate any life stage being derisively referred to like this. I think it makes kids feel simultaneously put-upon and discounted and un-unique humans with their own lives. But the moniker was probably borne out of many people’s brushes with difficulty in this period and this period was indeed difficult when looking at it in life-stage growing…. Erm hopefully that makes some sense. :))
That period where it seemed like things should be better, because I wasn’t making the mistakes I made when I first started out, but we fought constantly. I’d say something and offend someone. They’d say something and I’d be offended. I couldn’t do anything right. But we still loved each other and there were good times between. Well, that sounds a lot like young siblings. (Only, we weren’t young anymore. We were fully grown, but had entered into a new stage of life.)
And now. Now, we’re growing up. We got past the awkward stage. We learned who we were in the context of new truths. We learned to pick our battles and let things go. We learned how to start expressing more of who we are. And now we are branching out. Just like teenagers.
I’m lucky. I got to live through the baby stage while I was still a young teenager. My family who I’ve been referencing in these same stages were already adults when they started this particular journey. But we’re all here now, and I can’t wait to see what we do with the growth we’ve gained.
Coming out of that situation was tortuous. But staying would have been a slow descent to an early death.
Leaving ripped away everything that was familiar. It took away all ground that we stood on. So then, we had to find new ground.
What do we do when the holidays come around? Do we celebrate them? Do we make new traditions, or go with what’s typical? We don’t have any furniture. What furniture do we actually want? It’s a fresh start. … What do you do with possessions you no longer use but have sentimental value? How do you deal with people’s moods? How do you deal with your own? What do you believe?
I’ve not only grown from this experience, I am grown from being born a fair amount of years ago. I’m looking to start a business. A brand new experience I’ve never done before. A life-change that will hopefully end up incredible.
But I wonder… and am fairly sure… will I grow through all these stages again? The first few years of figuring and bumbling how to do this. The awkward stage where I try and learn how much to take the reins and how much to delegate. The next stage, I don’t even know what to anticipate, but a simplifying and good one, if past experiences are any indicator. 🙂
If humans didn’t go through the heart-wrenching experience of being born, growing up, growing old, and dying, would we even be able to change in our daily lives? It’s a kind of out-there concept that flashed through my brain while at work today, but it caused me to ponder. If we started perfect, if we didn’t adapt, would we even understand how to do all that marvelous shifting that makes us the who we are as humanity?