Naturally Dreamy

A blog about my life as an INFP living with an ESFJ, INTJ, and my pup. I blog about earth-friendly living and life through my eyes – not necessarily in that order. Come put your feet up where life is Naturally Dreamy!


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Commitment Issues

There is a lot of talk about “sticking with it” “trying harder” “if only”.

I also have an annoying custom to take a concept, or truths and apply them from there on out.

Good in theory, but it raises issues down the line. It’s probably most irritating, because it’s below the surface, and so I’ll be acting on guidelines, hints and principles that my friends and family aren’t even aware of, yet I’m doing so because it has been bounced around in enough sources to be shown as true.

And for whatever reason I seek for “universal truth” – rules and ideas that can stay consistent from the first Mesopotamian to the future latex-wearing, space-ship flying generations. I look for truths that apply to people with all religions, and from all countries.  I test veracity by seeing where it springs holes, and how narrowly it has to apply to work.

While this does narrow down the things in which I will put confidence in, it also means that once I find a principle that seems to work over all of these variables, I also apply it to everything – a bit like some with ketchup.

So when people say “if only they’d tried harder” and chorus of nods follows, and then I see this hold up time and again – people who succeed and do great things have indeed ‘tried harder’ in the past and that’s why they’re at where they’re at and happy, successful, world-changing, etc.

Not that I actually want any of those things, but people who have gotten to that point positively influence other people’s lives; I want to positively influence people’s lives; I must try harder.

At what??

Well… here’s where it gets silly.

Free time – what do you think it’s for? You’re probably correct. *ding*

In my head it was a time to practice, try and perfect any and all hobbies I might get or set my hands on, in order to never have “not tried hard enough”.

I’ve also talked over some broad money-concepts now that I’m getting some extra spending money and what am I free to make silly mistakes on and what should really be set aside for necessary purchases? I was advised on what could really be just freely-spent money, and this was the allusion Mom referred to when she discussed this with me.

“That time is your free time! Your “mad-time” like “mad-money” as some people call it. You are not responsible for anything in it. You’ve already taken care of your responsibilities, and you can just do whatever in that time.”

Sillily, I started tearing up. It was too good to be true!

“And if you never touch those paints you bought… or if you want to stop piano tomorrow! Hey, that’s fine.”

Now I was really starting to get it. BT had alluded to this before – how he wished he’d known earlier that starting and not continuing with projects and interests was okay not only okay, but encouraged.

Now, Mom was saying it. And it’s not like they don’t have any experience in these things, both have had regrets that they didn’t stick with or finish one thing or another. Yet despite all of this, and all of their admirable work ethic, they were telling me this.

This made a lot of sense and was freeing! I don’t have to produce something awesome from my free time; I don’t even have to continue with hobbies I’ve started.

The concept of “keep going” “don’t give up” and other such well-intended missives were apparently not always true. Apparently it was okay to chill every once in a while and just make something because I wanted to! or to explore a new hobby with no strings attached, and to be told that I wouldn’t be letting anyone down, or failing someone in someway – the freedom in that was astounding! 🙂

That was pretty cool.

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This is the painting I made 2 weeks ago with new paints I bought (they came in a wooden box!!), and painted on my free time! 😄 It’s not awesome, to be sure, but for my first time painting (basically), and with those paints I was moderately happy with how it turned out. 🙂 (P.S. – mountains in foreground, sand, then sea  – and the white line is the horizon, lol) (Acrylic paints on copy paper.)

 


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Chatting – No seriously, this is just me rambling

I wrote such a heartfelt post yesterday.

But then I hit control ‘w’ and whatever that does, it does not save your work.

But, I’m feeling talkative.

Anyone interested in listening into my rambles?

I’ve got extra energy – which is weird because I’ve had 2 or 3 rather long workdays, just “worked out” while watching a YouTube video and also finished baking and washing dishes (a miniscule amount of both).

But, yet, I’m not ready to lay my head down and read yet.

Last night, 🎶 I had this dream about you, in this dream 🎶 — no no no lol. Last night I had another weird dream. I was waking partially frequently to keep from coughing, until I thought hard enough about it and realized waking and coughing would be a much more prudent idea.

It was a terrible dream. I also had less than good thoughts before going to sleep and after writing the real (as in coming from deep depths) blog post, I then wanted to spill my guts to my friend about a completely different but pressing subject, but honestly she’s not the one who needs to hear about my whale moans of “why do the good people die” (which is honestly a mask for a much more mean question that I’m always ashamed I think). That’s for me to figure out and come to peace with.

Rimfire survived another surgery! He’s feeling great. He’s not allowed toys for another … 7 days … Any toys. I’ve walked him every other day and ‘chased’ him around the house, but I can feel his frustration and energy levels rising slightly every day and hope he gets them back before the malaise of “I guess it’s this way then” sets in.

I’ve been watching a lot of Kurt Hugo Schneider and Lindsey Stirling videos. I think I started watching KHS’s vids because they have that sort of authenticity that my ear is like “ah, yes this” and I can chill to work after it. Lol I mean after work, to it. It’s real and soothing. And re-re-re-discovered Red. Man sometimes that album is so great for listening to. But yea, Prism is my current fav song. Before that was the Arena. Before that Everything Has Changed. Or Welcome To My House.

Hamilton! I own it now *yayyyy!!*

Erm… Do you ever want to not face sleep? Cause like you think so much more correctly when you’re awake?

What’s you’re favorite song, right now?

Covert Affairs! Who else likes that show? I just started watching it like 3 months ago and I’m on season 4. It’s so awesome! I love how they did character development.

I want to make sure I shut off my computer before too long because I do not need to be looking at the screen anymore today. For TV shows, YouTube, reading fascinating articles, research or even music. It’s time for both o’ us to get a break.

Optimism. That’s my current think. Like, is it good? Accurate or more inaccurate than realism? The worstest of worst could happen and have happened and I’ll still buoy up like right after and be like “Here how about this now?” Sometimes I think, “It’s ’cause you’re incredibly naive, darling” and then I remember, “wait, I’m not” and that only makes me wonder more! 🙂

I’m not saying I don’t take into account facts, because I do – they’re the fuel for my outlook – but I also somehow always am looking for bright words in the midst of sorrow. Is that good or is that bad? I don’t want to be mean, but I want to help people find shore, too.When I get lost in the hopelessness of it all someone showing me what’s going well and a new perspective sets me at ease, but maybe being able to adopt that is also unhelpful for solving real issues. Like for instance, “Trump is bad!!!” people say, and I say, “But he is, let’s us be good and try to change the world” and is that bad or good.

There’s Fi (introverted feeling) again “Bad good, bad good – it can’t be neither!” lol.

I don’t think it is.

So, yeah…

I haven’t seen any recent movies. I’m wondering if there’s any I should rent?

Currently, I’m reading P.G. Wodehouse. I could probably read nothing but P.G. Wodehouse and be comparatively happy, but again, I’d say, “Aren’t I being naive?” Yeah, P.G. Wodehouse might be simplistic, formulaic, and always written in the same voice, but I so enjoy his writing humor. I read a whole book about cricket and had no idea what I was reading – it was like Captains Courageous for me! – but I still enjoyed it. A little more sloggingly, but his writing style is engaging enough.

You know, the kind of thing before that’s great to read before I go off to bad dreams.

But then I’d miss out on Shannon A Thompson’s books if I only read Wodehouse the rest of my life, and that’d be sad. Her books are PURPLE! And it’s really cool to read a purple book. (No, I don’t mean in reality… the way they feel is purple. The world (really bloody fantastically conveyed btw) is shadowed by purple smokey shadows which is the awesomest.)

Also – Grace Livingston, was it? I really enjoyed that book last year “The Obsession of Victoria Gracen”.

I’m no celebrity – and last year I Fi-ha-ha-ha-nally came to grips with that, and how lol not being one is not bad… but, yeah, not not really related, only semi-ily it’s been fun hanging with you virtually.

Hope you all are well. 🙂


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This Week is My Week Off, This Week is Your Week Off… right?

“I have the 24-30th off.” That’s what I remember BT saying.

“Okay, I’ve marked that off in my calendar!” That’s what Mom said.

“I’ve got the same week off!!!” I gladly proclaimed when my new job announced our holiday hours.

Then BT got sick about a week ago. He dressed up, went to work, but they said, “It’s okay, go home,” and so he came back to recuperate. He stayed away so he wouldn’t spread germs, and I hung with my friend for a few days.

A couple days later, it seemed like he still hadn’t gone back to work. Strange, but maybe this sickness was really knocking him off his feet. Good thing he decided to quarantine himself early — but it didn’t feel quite right.

A few more days later, and he was still off work. For a guy who always works holidays, and is always a dedicated worker, this was weird. But, I couldn’t very well ask him about it without defeating the purpose for which we had not spoken until now!

Last night we finally got to speak and started to make plans. Though I hadn’t gotten to reserve a snowy cabin for the three of us, complete with fireplace, we still had a lot we could plan for on the one week in the entire year we’d all be off at the same time!!

While Mom was making her dinner in the kitchen, BT and I talked about drinks, food, games, and presents. Friday night was the earliest the festivities could start, but that was plenty since we had all of next week.

“It’s not as long as I’d hoped, but…” BT shrugged.

“Well, we have all of next week.”

BT looked at me quizzically. “I go back to work on Tuesday.”

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It was my turn to be aghast, “What? I had down that you were off the 24-30 and I’m off the 24-1st!!”

“No, no… no. Tuesday. Why would I take the week after Christmas off?”

“Um… I don’t know. I just thought we said we had the same week off.”

“No, erm.” BT searched for a way to explain this confusing situation, “I did it the same way I did Thanksgiving. The week leading up to it!”

I was still too surprised, processing this big change-of-plans news and the irony. I was trying desperately to measure it up in my head.

“Hmm.. Okay. Well. Um, we still have this weekend! Um… OH! So thaaaat’s why you were home! Oh… you were trying to do stuff all this week with us, but you were sick. Oh… Erm…” The sad side of it for him hit me.

“Yeah, I mean, it worked out to be able to rest & recuperate, but yeah!” he chuckled, “Why did you think I didn’t go to work all this week?”

“I thought you were just really sick somehow…”

Mom called out from the kitchen, where she’d been blending something or food processing, “Hey!!! See you Saturday!!! I have all next week off! Can’t wait to see you!”

“HE GOES BACK TO WORK ON TUESDAY!” I called out covering the distance and attempting to overcome the noise of the machine.

“WHAT?” she asked, “Huh?” she repeated after shutting it off, BT started and I finished: “I have…” “He works next week, he goes back on Tuesday.”

Mom’s face echoed the thoughts in my head as puzzlement grew on her face, “What?”

“Yeah.” BT asserted.

I couldn’t help but chuckle now, especially being literally in the middle of the situation halfway between the kitchen and front door where each person stood.

“But I wrote it down for next week.” BT shrugged as she said, “I asked you twice. Hmm… I wonder how I got that mixed up.”

BT said, “Well, as I was saying to her, I am not saying I’m not the source of this information. Unless I have a calendar in front of me, I’m terrible with…” and he gestured. “But yeah, I am going back on Tuesday, I had this week off.”

“I just thought you were really sick! Ahahaha, I was wondering.”

Well, at least we still have Saturday-Monday. 🙂

“That’ll be enough time. I mean for us.” BT said as if it was crystal clear, but I found such a statement enigmatic.

Well… I suppose though we enjoy hanging out with each other more than most groups of 3 people, there are things that irk us about each other and the way we do things. I mind things the least of any of us, but I see them minding things about me & each other.

I was glad I didn’t end up booking that cabin, or making any other plans for 3, though… That woulda been interesting. 😄


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Christmas Hair!

Last year I had green & red hair dyes &  wanted to add them to my hair for a Christmas-themed dye job. But alas, I did not.

I’ve dyed teal accents to the front of my hair, blue stripes, teal stripes, red stripes, but I’ve only ever done one color at a time. Most colors lasted 4-6 months, but the red lasted for a YEAR. If I died my hair red & green for Christmas, I thought it would be weird to have red and green hair in July.

I said as much to BT after he encouraged me to go ahead and dye my hair for Christmas this year, and he thought for a moment, then said, “Do it in November. Then you have one month before and it’s like…and then the month of, and then …4? months after? Not too weird.”

With his encouragement I planned on planning to plan to go ahead with it.

I did go ahead with it! I don’t know what it was, but suddenly all the other reservations were dealt with and dispensed, and the day after Thanksgiving BT and I dyed our hair – played Clue with our family while it set, and washed it out.

His dye sadly washed out entirely, mine was apparent even before my hair fully dried. (The next day he tried my dye, and while not super *SHING* bright, it was evident – now we know.) The next day I debuted my hair to a waiting public (ahem, the two people in my life that they said every other sentence the night before ‘Show me in the morning! Make sure you show me when it dries'”) the result. While I’d nitpicked that morning in the bathroom over various things about the dye job result, together we did decided we not only liked how it looked, but also where and how I’d added the dye.

The next day, I decided I liked it too.

So now I have Christmas hair!! 😀 I still need to add the glitter extensions I got for Christmas last year, and I think that will be some great overkill frosting on the cake!

[I took some great “LET’S BREAK ANONYMITY ON THE BLOG!!!” pictures, but as per usual, I’m not going to. Doing so would not just put me at risk, and so I must yet again decline.]

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The Materials:

  • Ion Color Brights Semi-Permanent dye in Red
  • Ion Gem Stones Semi-Permanent dye in Jade
  • Hair Foils
  • Gloves
  • Shower Cap
  • Hair Dryer
  • Ion Color Brilliance After Color Treatment

For cleanup:

A towel you don’t mind being dyed

Alcohol

Dawn Dish Detergent

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The Process:

  1. Take some foils – maybe 8-10 – out of the packaging.
  2. Line the counter with the papers that separated the foils.
  3. Strategize. Where do you want this dye? I wanted to hide it at will, but also wanted it visible if my hair was down – so I did under-dye.
  4. Clasp any sections of hair you want to leave undyed, up. I clipped the upper layers of my hair into bun-ish thing, but left two “wingy” bits of hair so that even as an underlayer, the dye *might* be able to be seen from the front — Hmm.. I can’t find any pictures of what I’m talking about, but the hair that’s close to your ears – if that’s not dyed, then your hair dye is going to be very, very selectively seeable. If you leave it out of the bun, you can decide later whether you wish to dye it or not.
  5. Separate out the section of hair you wish to begin with and squeeze a goodly but starter amount of dye onto your fingertips – about 1/2 an inch.
  6. Work it through the section.
  7. Work it work it.
  8. Squeeze more dye. Massage it through.
  9. Now your hair should be getting globbed up by it. And now more dye. You’ll probably use 3-4 1/2 inch globs on a 1/2 inch section of 2 foot hair… That was a lot of statistics at once, sorry. The goal is that you “see” the color on the outside of your hair, but when you pull apart the section, you don’t want it to be dry.
  10. When you can feel the whole section, and the hairs in the “middle” of the section have some liquidyness on them, and you’ve really like massaged it in….
  11. …then wrap the section around two of your fingers and grab a foil.
  12. Lay the foil against your head under the coil of hair.
  13. Lay the coil on the foil.
  14. Holding the coil of hair and the foil, use your hands to fold the foil in half over the hair – like a hair taco.
  15. Fold the open left and right edges of the foil closed, squish it all together (optional) and let sit.
  16. Move on to the next one.

You can do all one color at once, or alternate as the inspiration strikes, but if you are using the aluminum dye tubes from Ion be aware that the dye likes to slowly escape from the tube when you’re not looking. 🙂

How I planned out the highlights:

I alternated red & green on the lowest section of my hair (I dyed around 4-6 sections on this part). Then I went up one layer, (but still on the lower sections of my hair), and dyed about 1/2 as many segments, alternating green and red again. This helped with the “seeingness” factor – I wanted it to be possible to be seen so as to spread the max amount of cheer without starting to miss my real hair color 1/2 through the fading process. (It still is, as has happened with most of my dye jobs, less obvious than I’d expected or hoped. But if I do a twist and flip the bottom of my hair to the top, it’s quite evident and visible, just not as obvious everyday as I’d planned for.)

Check the sink, and bathroom environs for dye that might have found its way out – we found it on the bottom of the outside of the medicine cabinet once… and cleanse with alcohol or dawn detergent depending on which the surface reacts best to. (In my experience, plastic is convinced to release its hold on the dye by alcohol, and ceramic by Dawn detergent. Alcohol really works wonders – so before you freak out about it having landed irreversibly on an item, try rubbing it on it for a few minutes and you might see it go away or fade to an indistinct shadow.)

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  1. Wrangle your hair into a shower cap (this keeps your hair in one place, preventing accidental spread of dye, and prepares your hair for the heat treatment later).
  2. Let sit for 3-4 hours, applying heat at some point (by hair dryer – maybe 5 minutes).
  3. Rinse, baby rinse at the end of the hours.
  4. It should start to feel less slick and stop casting off copious amounts of color into the water you see going down the drain. At this point apply the after color treatment.
  5. Let it sit the instructed amount of time. (Mine says.. 3 minutes? … I think.)
  6. Let your friend hold your hair & towel while you stretch out the kink in your neck.
  7. Rinse gently & well until hair is soft but not feeling of excess conditioner in it.
  8. Place hair in towel (that you don’t mind getting dye on.)
  9. Check the sink & faucets and counter for stains & dye. Clean as needed.
  10. Once it’s not dripping, part your hair, and then re-place in towel.
  11. Sleep on towel or pillow case that, again, you don’t mind getting dyed.
  12. Wake up and survey your masterpiece while gleefully sharing with friends & family.

You might find that your hair is pretty amazing after the after-color-treatment. I had side-bangs the day after that I didn’t even know existed, because my hair was so slippy. My hair is usually super soft, afterwards, too. But yeah, it’s pretty cool that first few days when your hair is uber conditioned, soft and slick – not the feel I expected after dying it.

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Please remember I have wavy hair that I don’t brush… so yeah, it’s not frizzy but it’s also not “kempt” 90% of the time! 🙂

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(I’m drinking tea, by the way. :)) This is how it looks when I flip the hair on the bottom to the top. I was going to make a bun, but then decided to pin it in place half down, half up. 🙂  

Q&A:

Have you ever done anything you felt was crazy to celebrate a holiday?

What’s your favorite or must-see holiday movie? Why?


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Dreaming

People say with my personality type I have trouble keeping my feet on the ground. “My heads always in the clouds.” Dreaming all the time.

This never seemed to apply to me.

I called this “Naturally Dreamy” because it was my favorite description of the INFP personality type. I like the word dream, and I like dreamcatchers.

I am analytical, literal, and love definitions and guidelines. I laugh at jokes, see truth in situations, and love my dog.

None of this much seems to say I don’t cope with everyday life.

Today, though, I saw a way that I am nearly always dreaming.

Continue reading


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Right in the feelings!

It’s good to feel. Even hurt.

When you feel hurt, remember the other people who cause you to have feelings. Remember how they care about how you are feeling and care if you are hurt.

Then the hurt isn’t so bad, eh? Not with that balancing out. And you remember feeling is good. What you feel is not permanent, they fluctuate and spin changing to circumstances and situations. It’s good to feel; remembering that they change is an aid to balance a deep hurt or joy, not to banish it.

Just some INFP thoughts on this early night… 🙂