I write from my memories – even just the memories of the day.
I am so tired today, that I can’t remember.
I haven’t gotten enough sleep. I have had a couple emotionally tough situations, a couple of sugar lows, and today I had to reconsider my whole approach to achieving a plan I’ve had for years.
I wanted to take a giant trip with SP. I have limited funds to do this with – I never thought that was a problem before. I’ll get a job! Raise money! It’s doable! I said.
Today, even made me reconsider my whole propensity to work. I hate it when people don’t want to work. Everybody’s got to work — it’s a sleep world where no one faces their responsibility if people don’t realize this. (By the way, “work” means a lot of things).
On the other hand, there is a lot wrong with the job world, and always has been. The amount of stuff people are expected to do for what they get, pay-wise and personally.
But, today, it seemed as though, I even had no desire to do “normal” work, and no skill at it either.
It made me kind of depressed – thinking that my goals in life may be after all wrong. Not a good feeling.
I currently have no idea what to do. What I need to do in this life in this world.
I only hope that today is not indicative of the rest of my life. That I can look back on this day and realize that today was not a depressing failure of a start in “the real world where people work”, but a stepping stone to greater things, to realizing facts and making new plans and ideas, and not giving in to something that isn’t me, but is still correct in all the right ways!
I’m sure it will be. I hope.