Naturally Dreamy

A blog about my life as an INFP living with an ESFJ, INTJ, and my pup. I blog about earth-friendly living and life through my eyes – not necessarily in that order. Come put your feet up where life is Naturally Dreamy!

Forum and Book Discussion – on INFPs

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I saw this post on Personality Cafè. Do INFP’s actually have a decent role to play in society? and the more negative (for good reason) INFP: most Useless type?

I had to agree with them. When I visit INFP blogs, read things written by them, survey the quotes and deep things they come up with, it’s great!!

But when it comes to living, I see the shortcomings they talk about.

INFP’s are great at empathizing, but they also have trouble knowing how to show someone they care. They want to change the world, but how many are actually able to implement their ideas? It’s awesome for having people with visions of things being better in the world, but when it gets to 9-5 job, we can be pretty useless.

So, really what good are we?

It’s great to be around your family, and have them say “I loved hearing about that!” or “That’s some good insight.”

But when you go to apply for a job, and they say, “Skills needed”: and start reading through the list, and find you only have half of them, and some of those, you only know you can pretend to be…


Well, I start crying, at this point, usually…

What actually can one do? It’s all great to be happy in your thoughts, but if you’re not helpful to anybody, then why do we even exist?

Yup, those are my cheery thoughts of the day! LOL

And other things I’ve thought interesting…

Now… I can’t find any “sharing” or copyright requests for this book. I really wish I could.

But, I’m going to try to follow “Fair Use” laws, and encourage you to check out the book! I’m borrowing it right now, but I plan on buying it, because I really liked it.

It’s INFP: 33 Secrets from the Life of an INFP, by Diana Jackson.

It’s a book with 33 things about INFPs – and she goes over how its Positive, Negative, Relationships, and Work. It’s fascinating.

I wish that she had references in there – where does she get this from? Because so much of it applies to me, I wonder how she found this information.

Like when I found this passage, it totally blew me away!

#17 – Sensitive Skin:

“… that informs many of the decisions they make – from what clothes they wear (cottons will always be favored over polyester)… “

I wear velveteen a lot, and really like my sweaters made with angorra and cashmere fur sweaters. We’ve always kind of wondered why I wear so much velveteen.

“The drawback to sensitive skin, however, can include medical skin problems…”

Yes. Yes it can. A mosquito bites me and I swell up (even if I don’t itch it). Other bugs bite me, and the itching is just. so. AGGH! I’m notoriously bad at not itching my bites, and when I do, even just a light scratch leaves red streaks on my skin. Actually, just a random (non-buggy) scratch will leave red marks. “Are you okay?” I get a lot… “Yeah, why?” “You have.. you’ve got…” as they peer at me, trying to find out what it actually is.

I get bruises, and other random marks on my skin. It’s fine by me, thankfully. I just hope not to make others worry about me for no reason.

“At work: The INFP who works in an environment where they cannot control the temperature (as opposed to the freelancer who stays home and can) should bring a sweater [I always do! Grocery store: sweater, Church: sweater, Party: sweater], since most offices keep the thermostat set at “frigid.” Conversely, thanks to their sensitive skin, many INFPs simply cannot get anything done if the temperature is too warm for their liking, so workplaces without air conditioning in summer can expect a lot of griping and sighing from INFP employees.”

I was so shocked at this!! I wilt in the heat, I get flushed, I do gripe and complain (as nicely as I can) when it’s warm, because I feel like I can’t breathe, like my eyes are shutting without my consent… It’s one of the great puzzles that my family has wondered about.

So, yeah, I just couldn’t believe it when I read that!

I also loved this part. It explained my thinking so much…

“Positive: Anxiety may attack some, but for the healing INFP it is often a call to action – for the care and compassion that drives them to help others. INFPs may worry for themselves, but these dreamy idealists also look around them and, seeing the state of the world, worry for the sake of those who cannot help themselves. This anxiousness – that others are not as lucky as them – is part of what makes them so empathic.”

It’s like Barney, with a bit of rewording. “Whenever I’m sad, I stop being sad and be empathic instead.” I don’t actually know what empathic means, but I think it means what I’m about to say.


I don’t get sad, or other stuff like that, without soon wondering how many others are feeling my same way. If I was wronged, “Who did I wrong.” If somebody didn’t listen to me, “Who did I cut off?”… I don’t let myself stay sad because I see how much I do not have reason to feel that.

It’s makes me prone to problems… also logicalness. No comfort, no encouraging, no niceties, no food, no friends… Why do I deserve them? I have enough, other people need it SOOO MUCH MORE THAN me.

It really stifles my style when it comes to conversing (or e-mailing friends), too. Why should I have the floor? I want to hear what others have to say!!

But it also lends to good things, as she said, above.

So, anyways, yeah, I’d recommend the book.

It’s pretty sad, because she talks about how great the INFP is, and how selective they are about who they’ll divulge information to, but at the same time, it seems like the friends and the family of the INFP get dumped on with all the worst parts. THEY SO don’t deserve that, so I feel really badly about that. 😦

I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean to be a real wet blanket today.

Without being self-employed, or some whacky job, I’m not sure how I’m going to be a contributing part of society… I don’t want to have to be special though, and get to make my own job, with my own hours, doing something I really love!… because, you know, “Others need it (those special provisions, have better visions, need that funding, need to be able to work from home…) much more than me.”


Does any of that make sense to you?

Have you thought of this and come up with answers, rebuttals, comments?


Author: Arctic Hare!

I write Naturally Dreamy and have a lot of fun with that!

One thought on “Forum and Book Discussion – on INFPs

  1. Every personality type contributes to society. I dont think of myself as useless. Everyone was created for a reason/purpose. It takes time to figure it out, unless your some kind of genius! I think this is a stupid question. Im sorry, that l dont have low self-esteem and buy into this idiotic question. Why was this question created to make people feel bad about themselves? By the way, lm a strong INFP and proud of it!!!!!


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