Okay, so this might be kind of a weird post, because it’s about a weird thing.
“Sorry” – I used to be really bad at saying it, but I realized that sucking up and doing it is a lot easier that worrying about how it will go.
So now I just say it soon after, and sincerely. It still provides trepadation, but I’ve learned that.
What I have not learned is how to react to a sorry.
There’s the moment after they’ve offered an apology that directly relates to what I was wanting them to apologize for, that I don’t know what to do. I was just mad/frustrated/upset and had worked out why. Now they are doing what I’d hoped they’d do and recognized their effect. They’ve even apologized about it.
What do I do?
I don’t like them being unhappy. I don’t want to insinuate I had nothing to do with it. Is there anything I can apologize for?
Well, not right now, but make sure you do (apologize) if you mess up in the future.
So what do I do now?
I feel like something should happen.
That’s as far as I’ve gotten. The apology stays on stale air, accepted, but leaves the atmosphere unshaken. It seems like more should be happening as a result.
As much as it messed me up and I hoped for it, I would think I’d have a reciprocal emotion.
Instead – it’s just leaden. Nothing happens. I can’t even say anything.
I wish I had something to say.
Saying you accept the apology absolves me of having any guilt – I don’t like that. It also squarely says they were wrong, which I may think but I don’t like intimating. (Or, now, sometimes thinking that they are apologizing for just being how they are, and so I worry they will kill some part of themselves off if I accept the apology.)
But the apology must be verbally accepted to relieve the apologizer. Okay. BUT WHAT CAN I SAY AFTER? I want something as happy as I was sad.
But something serious just transpired, so the tone has to stay serious.
There’s nothing as serious as a “sorry”. So I’m left with nothing “relevé” to say. I’m left ruminating on the apology so it’s fully accepted. Which leaves dead air.
(0:24-0:34 – Where I learned the word “relevé” – it’s the only word that came to mind to describe what I was trying to convey! 😄 )
It’s so weird. I kind of wish I knew if I was the only one clueless with this.
I’d like to know what other people do after a serious apology.
Because this way of handling it doesn’t seem good.
All I know is it’s important to the transgressor to admit their wrong, and it’s important to the transgressed to hear it. I just wish there was something for both to do afterward.
Is it easy for you to say sorry after you’ve done something wrong to somebody?
How do you handle awkward moments after “sorry’s”?