If you have been around me at all in the last 4 years (since I started talking about it) – you know one thing about me.
I freakkkk out about my words. I am not kidding. Blahdy blahdy blah – I could go on for all sorts of reasons, and why and various things, but mainly this. Words have effect, and I’m terrified my effect will be not good.
(Language – warning!) —
Sometimes, this (in the reverse – someone else’s words back to me) will have a negative effect on me causing me to shut down.
I want to curl up in a cave and never come out and talk to anyone ever again, because I believe that their response indicated that this is what I should do.
Today this happened. I was happy, hopeful, ready to tackle some big projects I had….
When I got a helpful response back from somebody – in essence they asked me to call them. I freaked out – “I overwhelmed them with info! I shouldn’t have sent that email! The person I asked to review my email was right – I should have included my number! What was I thinking?? They’re sooo upset with me right now! I can’t believe they didn’t just tell me off. What do I say now. There is no redeeming myself. I need to find somewhere, now, where no humans are and never come out.”
I’m NOT exaggerating.
Basically I was asking about my future dream career and how to get started. They said, “that’s too much to talk about in an email, let’s meet” and I reacted this way.
Here is my survival guide, because as much as I thinnk I should dwell in these feelings, I get glimpses that that’s not right. I’m cool to stay here with the humans.
1. Remember there are other people out there.
BT sent me an email link to a video as I was thinking this. At least one other person on the planet at that time thought I was worth communicating with. I had not sent out a cosmic force of decrepitude.
2. Think about sending that email, or saying that statement yourself.
I thought about getting my email, and replying his email back. I thought how confused and gentle I would be about it. I’d be like, “Hmm… I guess they’re eager, but unfortunately I can’t talk in an email like this… Let’s see if they can meet.”
I realize I have a much different brain process to annoying and aggrivating situations to other people, but still, imagining this calmed me. *
Don’t forget – it doesn’t really help, but it’s good to do anyway.
I get super-adrenaline rushes, and really shaky. Combat it early and don’t skip a meal worrying about what they said.
5. Don’t reply right away.
Hopefully you have a person who can give you feedback on your correspondence. They’ll help keep the crazy out of your communiques.
6. Again. Remember that there are people out there in the world who think you are worth communicating with.
This always helps me in these scares.
7. “Who are they?” — Don’t care.
The only way I survived the months leading up to my externship, and some days during it was thinking “I really don’t care what they think. I do NOT need this job. I’m going to leave in a month.” Which is kind of weird and sounds mean, but I meant, this is not my end all be all job. I’m getting this to hopefully up my animal knowledge – not to got veterinary school. So if I was a terrible vet assistant, or failed in their eyes, it was okay. They weren’t stuck with me, and I wasn’t going to be in that field for long.
Remember the actual power they have over you and not their perceived power.
Are you going to see them in the coffee shop tomorrow morning? Do they call you every night? This is not someone you’re going to have repeated encounters with, so why do you care if they like you or not? It’s not going to hurt them or you if you aren’t compatible.
8. There is other life.
Life goes on. You haven’t made a cosmic blunder that prevents life from going on. While the phrase “Who do you think you are?” comes to mind, it’s not a pride thing. When someone hurts you, your life comes to a stop. Your brain can stop working. I’m probably parallelling this in reverse wondering if I’ve hurt them and caused a shut down.
The simple act of seeing a cardinal fly by reminds me – life goes on.
What are your best survival tactics for when you are freaking the frick out!, sir?
*For about 2 minutes