He stands in front of you, ring outstretched. He’s just asked you for your hand in marriage.
You think of the beautiful estates he owns, and what it would be like to gallop over them. You think of the pristine, beautiful white house he had when you visited his parents, how you and he will always be secure.
But you don’t think about him. You don’t think about how happy you are when you makes you your favorite tea. How fun it is to try to follow him in every new idea. The times you just sigh when you know it’s not going to work, but half the fun is watching.
You think about the opportunity, and not the dude.
(Oops, my So Cal is showing. 😄 And yes, obviously I’ve never been proposed to – this is pieced together from movies, TV shows and GMM.)
Sometimes I try to make a decision, and I think on it, and I think on it until I finally come to a conclusion.
These conclusions become the basis for the rest of my life. Which is mostly what inspired me to start this blog. Thinking through these things, gathering evidence, comparing it with real life, going back to the drawing board, working it down some more, takes a lot of work. If I had the answers handed to me, I’d go with that (or I might just take it as evidence to work into my own theory…). Anyway, I thought it might be helpful if when I came up with these big life-helping conclusions for my self I’d “share with the class”. If nothing else, just for that one other person like me staying awake all night and kicking themselves until they discover whether it was actually okay; or just working on a theorem until it strikes right.
I thought maybe, the hours of wittling down I do could be turned helpful for someone else. 🙂
Well, this was one of the few breakthroughs that I could actually share! All the others were only semi-discoveries or only made sense to me.
So, anyways, I was trying to figure out whether to do this one thing, or not. And every other hour I had a different conclusion.
Most impactful on the switchity flop was what I’ve read in those articles from elderly people, or people who have lived the longest, what their advice is:
[[Goes looking for the actual quote. Can’t find anything REMOTELY similar]]
Er, I guess what I mean to say, is what I’d remembered, apparently wrongly, being their advice was to go ahead and avail yourself of the opportunity. You don’t want to be thinking, “What if?” basically.
And there’s all of these I find on the ‘net:
The other side, (there was another side, obviously), was my own wisdom. Rushing into things = not a good idea. You don’t know till you know.
And the very real what if’s: What if it’s not what it looks like? In fact it’s more than likely to not be what it looks like. What if this is wrong for you and them? What if, what if, what if.
It went around and around. For months.
Until yesterday, *lightbulb* the idea popped into my head, that while I’d considered the opportunity raised many, many times, and was attempting to fulfill (what I realize is probably now mythical) elderly people’s directive to “not let an opportunity go; take the risk!” I’d valued the opportunity far more than I’d valued the person raising the opportunity.
Pish posh; That was no way to do things!
Immediately a weight I didn’t even know was there was lifted.
I also smiled. I was back to my original way of doing things, “Go. Care about people. Care about people backwards, forwards, high, low. Care and what happens, happens.”
No more “gotta try and get the most out of life. Not let any opportunity pass up. What if it’s wrong. What if it’s bad? But what if I have nothing show by the end of the year. Another year of nothingness… But what if.”
Were all these these worrying constricting thoughts happening, just because of a tiny hint to give a risky thing a go? — ah-hah! But not just that! A risky thing done with no reward except a new opportunity in your hat.
It’s all well and good to take giant risks and leaps – which is why I was so happy, because here I was able to insert my main OS – as long as it’s for someone/something you love, care about, something like that.
An opportunity arises. You don’t know whether to take it. The flurry of wonder and nerves starts to swirl. Next time, I’m going to consider how the idea got brought up, and how I feel about that.
In a sentence:
You should care about the person more than the missed opportunity
What I wrote in my journal: If you care more about a “missed opportunity” or missing an opportunity than the person presenting the opportunity that is backwards and feel free to say no.