I decide to give in. I’d pushed myself to stand, not sit, while I hung outside after taking Rimfire for a walk. After all I’d been sitting all day, and I’ve been practicing my posture (for the like last 7 years with limited success, but shhhh…), so I was going to stand.
But now… Now, I’m hungry and tired so I decide to flop into bed. I move the clothes basket, flop down, and fluff my pillow.
Then, I sit up and lay the pillow behind me and sink down.
I bought a new pillow and it is so worth it. I love it.
I am quiet and blissful. This is nice.
Would music make this better? I already have a rock song drifting through my mind. I reach over and find my Fiio by feel amongst the cords, water bottles, and other detritus on my nightstand.
No. I admonish myself. You don’t need music, besides the white noise of the A/C is kinda nice.
I rest the Fiio on my chest.
Then I move it to my other side.
Then I pick it up suddenly to make sure I hadn’t waked it when I pressed the button accidentally.
Yes. This is nice.
Why isn’t Rimfire here?
I feel a shake on the bed, and look at the foot of it. He’s got one paw on the side of the bed, looking at me.
“Come on up!” I invite.
What if I did do that thing I was thinking of? What would my opening sentence be? Probably this.
And why am I thinking about this. You wanted to reeeest.
I try to put myself back into the mindset, but fail.
Dude! You even get bored when you sleep! Like think about it, right now you have 2 activity ideas, 1 story idea, and 3 things you want to do that you are ACTIVELY thinking about. And during the night, your dreams are like crazy complex. Like if this is your normal day, of course you’d get bored when you try to sleep…
And that’s how I find myself here. Listening to music, backing up my computer and blogging.
Because I want to say – You are not a weirdo. Or leastaways, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I by no means am the most active, nor the most productive. I don’t have the fastest mind.
But despite breaking all these norms of a person who’s “always on the move” I am uncomfortable with sitting still. I don’t generally enjoy rest.
It’s not that I blanketly don’t like it. It’s that I’d just rather be doing something else, at least most of the time.
Sometimes, just existing is enough. Like when allergies attack full force and it feels like every other breath is a sneeze, or shark week has claimed a hostage and just thinking about standing makes my head hurt and my legs ache.
But every other time, I am ready to start a new business, to help someone with stuff, to work on puzzles and problems in my mind.
My mind is always going going going. It’s like it’s questing, and my body is just a few incentives behind.
Now sure, most of the time this is incredibly annoying to the people closest to me. So I’ve learned it’s undesirable, frowned upon, even classified it as wrong at one point.
It’s going to annoy people. But it’s not wrong.
And dude. Sometimes I feel so strange for being this way. I wonder if I’m wrong? I don’t think I am. It doesn’t feel unhealthy, or coming from an underground fountain of something dark and nasty.
It just feels like me. 🙂
Over the years, I’ve learned to temper it so that 90% of the time I’m not annoying people and nor am I being untrue to myself.
And someday, I bet, I’ll see why I am this way, where it will be used.
But for now, I’m just going to be that person who aims to lay down for a few moments and ends up just laying down for a second, because I’m ready for the next adventure.
Meanwhile: If you’d like fictional characters who represents an incredible energy that can at times be too much, see Shawn Spencer in Psych. While it’s not yet my favorite show, I do like seeing how the different characters work together.
Till the next time, guys, tons of love. 🙂 ❤