Naturally Dreamy

A blog about my life as an INFP living with an ESFJ, INTJ, and my pup. I blog about earth-friendly living and life through my eyes – not necessarily in that order. Come put your feet up where life is Naturally Dreamy!


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The end of a saga and !! Autumn Chocolate Chip Cookies !!

I felt like sharing how I finally came to terms with that thing that’s been bugging me since January. It was the. easiest. thing., but it took me this long to realize it, and since I’ve written this much about already (An Inside Look at My Brain During Conversation, The Hidden Diamond of Acceptance, Real Talk With Me)… why not finish the saga?

But it wasn’t enough to make a whole new post for, so I thought I’d combine it with this recipe I really wanted to share. 🙂

So, you know – newbie-friend I met and who left? Yeah. Well I finally am not missing them anymore, because of one key thing I realized.

I was out of state and meeting new people and having a blast, but twangs of sadness still hit me, until I was driving along and it hit me all of a sudden (for the second time but with different words) “YO! You! YOU DIDN’T LEAVE.”

And all of a sudden I felt peaceful. Benigment – er, benign? Beneficial? Er, Idk. Happy, basically. See, I guess what happened is despite the fact that I was the one who reached out and re-initiated contact after a message failed to send. Despite the fact that I said, I can stay in touch if you want to. Despite that I was not the one who said, “Nah, let’s stop.” Despite the fact he said that it had absolutely nothing to do with me….

Despite ALL OF THAT, my brain was so used (cue me starting to laugh at myself) to being the one to move to a different state, different country, forget to write, be too nervous to write, and all-around usually always be the one who moved away it didn’t quite clue in that I didn’t.

So I was going around all sad because my brain, stuck in a rut, is like “Wow, you really miss him. How come you didn’t give it a chance, huh? How come you went away? How come you broke it off, when it was actually going well?” But it never said all of the last questions loud enough for me to hear (symbolically-speaking) and so I only ever thought “Wow you miss him. You messed this up, there must be something you can do.”

Once I realized, “Olé! It’s not you that left, broke it off, or otherwise stopped the train! It was him.” I could breathe about that situation again. I was free of all that worry and sadness because it was not caused by me. I’m cool with someone saying “Leave my life”, but not so cool if I feel like someone invited me in and I just suddenly left, ya know?

Now the thoughts that used to provoke sadness in me are just pleasant – an “I used to know someone who did that” or summat like that. And the catalyst for this switch is laughably simple. 😀 But nonetheless I’m glad I happened upon it eventually.

So there you go. Now this tale has 3 (or 4?) parts. Accidentally. 🙂

And here are an original creation of yumminess, that breaks some flavor-pairing rules BT and I thought we knew! (Them being: Don’t pair berries with cinnamon, and chocolate only goes with certain spices.)

I was house-and-pet-sitting for my friend when I saw that their cookie jar was empty. I wanted some cookies one day, and also to experiment, so I decided to try what popped into my head first – “I feel like chocolate chip cookies, but also chocolate chip cookies that embody the taste and feel of fall!…”

So here’s what came out:

(I didn’t measure anything but the butter, again, so I’m sorry for the vaguery!)

Cream:

  • 5T (75g) Butter
  • Light Brown Sugar (probably around 3-4T [37g-50g])
  • a Little White Sugar (probably 1 T [12g])
  • Good shakes of allspice
  • A couple dashes of cinnamon
  • Splash or two of vanilla extract

Add:

  • Dash of milk
  • Semi-Sweet chocolate chips
  • Mini chips

(See, I like to add all the sweet stuff together and taste, because it’s so yummy! 😀 Haha, now we add the meat of it…) Add:

  • Flour (my note here on how much is *so helpful* it says “(not too much)” lol) – probably start with 1/3 cup (60g) and go from there
  • Craisins – to taste

Mix together to form dough. Roll into Tablespoon balls and cook at a preheated (I usually don’t do preheated but this time, yes!) 350º F for 10-13 minutes.

Voila! Enjoy. 🙂

Q&A:

If you could have any food feel like a season or holiday what would it be?

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Real Talk with Me :)

I have some thoughts. Some feelings. Things I’ve been trying not to tell people out of concern I’ll come off as nutty. These are some thoughts I’ve been having. This may be more of a ramble, but each subsection has a sorta point to it. 🙂 Feel free to share your recent thoughts, too.

Three years ago, a cashier was nice to me – like over and above nice. I spent a year and a half in limbo, trying to figure out what to do about it. Nobody else knew.

Of course I came to the conclusion that the only sane thing for me to do was to do nothing. Which I solidly did while having my heart stop every time I nearly ran into him, or BT commented on something he did, and scribbling down every time I ran into him in my journal while laughing at myself – because every shopping trip he was there something weird happened.

This January I joined an online dating site, while I have zero interest in dating. This was the year I was going to do things I’d wanted to do, and I’d been curious about these-here dating sites for a while.

As my life usually goes, I messaged one dude who looked really nice, but sent back the wEirDest and most pat messages, and I messaged one dude just to say “hey, there’s a club for that interest, just in case you didn’t know.” He asked me if I liked the dating site, and a couple of other well-thought out questions, and from there an instant acquaintanceship sprang up.

He, BT and I met up and talked for 5 hours in a coffee shop, while rain clouds gathered overhead. The way home was hairy as the rain poured down, and the slick black roads concealed potholes and lane lines, but I was excited about talking to him again.

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Ceaseless

I decide to give in. I’d pushed myself to stand, not sit, while I hung outside after taking Rimfire for a walk. After all I’d been sitting all day, and I’ve been practicing my posture (for the like last 7 years with limited success, but shhhh…), so I was going to stand.

But now… Now, I’m hungry and tired so I decide to flop into bed. I move the clothes basket, flop down, and fluff my pillow.

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Mess

Sometimes I look around at my home, and the semi-mess within, and embrace their embrace of the untidiness.

Part of it is the simple reminders of the situations which brought about that particular mess. Sometimes it’s the recognition that the mess implies an obligation elsewhere.

Other times, I love that it shows a tolerance towards frailty, or that sometimes we can’t do everything, and things get forgotten and glossed over. Sometimes it’s our particular brand of … something, that causes us to rarely remove decorations, having birthday party and holiday decorations up long after the occasion has passed, and usually on into the next one.

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The Hidden Diamond of Acceptance

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It’s a pretty amazing feeling when at each new turn, you’re accepted. Each new piece of information you give them they don’t mind.

When you feel it, you wonder how you ever went without it.

If this is like finding a diamond, then realizing or seeing how you’re accepted with the people who have called you annoying, rebuked you, seemed disinterested, & more, is like finding an unpolished gem – there, but still hiding in the ground of your mind.

A gem hidden in the earth still, with unpolished facets that are there just the same. You hear their rebukes, you see their disinterest. But it’s harder to hear what’s more obvious about how they actually feel about you.

They love you, they’ve stuck with you. You’ve been able to do things that they’ve disagreed with and been frustrated with, but nonetheless they’ve given you another chance. It’s the same care, the same love, the same acceptance, even while it doesn’t feel like the elated feeling of not being able to scare someone off.

I’ve been learning to test a statement of “I don’t have that”. To make sure I’m not just running past what is right in front of me.

While no doubt I’ve been missing the ability to say what I feel is my worst and see it batted back to me as in inert substance, learning that this is not the only form of acceptance in my life, and this probably-more-important one is right here, I just need to open my eyes to it, may be the most important lesson yet from the mulling I’ve been doing since I lost that shiny diamond.

It’s not just about me being accepted, either. But how sad would it be if I believed I wasn’t accepted by those who love me most and yet they’d been trying to show me that, but I didn’t see it the same way? Like, the obvious faults I applaud the diamond for accepting, and yet those closest to me lived with it too – in fact they were actually there when I got them. That’s kind of cool.

I’m not missing the shiny experience as much any more. I want to learn to see how they show it, and how I can show it back.

(Update: While I will admit it is different, it is no less valid – and that’s something I forgot I wanted to say. :)) Anyways, onward ho!

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The Sisterhood Of The World Bloggers Award

In July 2015 (read: Waa-hey-hey-ay too long ago – sorry!), Pretty Ruff Life nominated me for this award, which in her own words: “recognizes the unique voices of women bloggers around the world.” Very cool!!

sisterhood of the world bloggers

Thank you, Nicole, so much! I am so honored!!! (And I’m terribly sorry it took me so long to get this post written.)

Nicole writes a really fun, bright, and relatable, makeup (plus!) blog. 😀 Check it out here!!

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