Naturally Dreamy

A blog about my life as an INFP living with an ESFJ, INTJ, and my pup. I blog about earth-friendly living and life through my eyes – not necessarily in that order. Come put your feet up where life is Naturally Dreamy!


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Lots of Thoughts

I have a lot of thoughts on my brain today. Would you mind if I told you some of ’em?

One of my friends is coming to visit me soon, and I’m off the charts excited!! My brain is also raising some good questions – What meals shall I make? What activities do I not want to forgot about doing? – and some not so good ones – What if she hates my where I live? What if she can’t stand my music? What if I tell her all the wrong stories?

The music one is the one I think of most frequently. I pretty much listen to music all my waking hours, and I’ve learned what my family likes and doesn’t like, so we can mutually enjoy what we are listening to. But I have a plan! I’ll ask her what she likes and doesn’t like in music (for example, it took me a while to get used to BT’s new set of music, but I actually ended up loving a lot of it in the end – wait that’s not an example – I mean, he tailored some of it, and when I learned that things actually wouldn’t break my preferences, I was a lot more open. Not that I want her to be open, I just don’t want it to be this weird foreign experience like it was. Or at all uncomfortable. So this analogy helps my head, but doesn’t convey?) What I’m trying to say (I think) is maybe instead of worrying about this, maybe it’s better to just ask if she would mind music, and what type she likes! Boom! 🙂

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I’m rediscovering some of the reasons I loved Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore or at least some things I really enjoy about it! As a kid, I didn’t understand why people re-read books – even if they really loved them.

But, I had wanted to re-read Nanny Diaries, and Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore. I recently purchased a copy of buying Mr. Penumbra’s– and after reading a disappointing in a sort of off-putting-way short story, I picked up my new purchase and old favorite.

I’m already half-way through! XD

Here are two quotes that show bits of what I like about it:

“She hands it [the check] to me, finished, and at the very bottom there’s a line of tiny type that informs me she’s been a member of the Telegraph Hill Credit Union since — oh, wow — since 1951.

Jeez. Why am I punishing this old woman for my own weird ways [attending a new friend’s party over Skype]? Something softens inside of me. My mask melts and I give her a smile — a real one.”

It describes so well that switch we can have from annoyance to respect when we view something that reminds of the fellow humanity of the person with which we are dealing – or something. I’m still trying work out the abstract core in this into words.

“It’s no big deal,” she says, flipping pages, making herself busy. “It’s [a special sort of promotion] like winning the lottery  anyway. It was a long shot.”

I’m not an entrepreneur, not a business guy, but in that moment I want nothing more than to start a company and grow it to Google size, just so I can put Kat Potente in charge.”

I always feel like that. Something lacking? Let me learn it and be it. Someone needs this particular sort of business? Let me start it! I try to do anything and everything someone shows they approve, need, or helps them enjoy life, and I’ve learned that I can’t do all of it.

I will have to pick one, so I should pick the one I like, and it will be what is needed. But it doesn’t stop the pang of wanting to help someone or be someone when something like this happens.

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BT has been saying that he feels bad he doesn’t know what to get for me for my birthday. I’ve always, always wanted to get an animal as a gift. OH MY GOSH!! I just realized I have!! I got chicks for my birthday one time! Oh and lovely chicks they were. ❤ Anyways story for another time.

Well, I forgot about that, lol. That actually makes me pretty happy haha!

And also, I have never gone this long without a kitty in my life. There was a cat that slept in my diaper bag when I was a baby. When I lived in a foreign country, we cared for 2 outside cats. When we moved back to the U.S., LL found us while we were in our in-between home.

Since LL died a few years back, the only kitty I’ve had contact with is during pet-sitting. I’m not really a cat person, but it is starting to wear on me.

I mean, you can feel the purring softness from this Tumblr cat!:

And my Twitter friend’s pics of kitty interactions! *happy sigh* Cats are such unique creatures!

And I love animals. Oh, I don’t know why, but I do and looook!

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She caught my eye today. 🙂 Why do I look on pet-adoption sites? I feel like I can make a difference doing that, but instead I just see how much need there is and how even 1 adoption – does it really matter?

But I thought, maybe – once I count my dollars – maybe, just maybe I can afford another pet. And maybe, just maybe, that (the permission, not the animal itself) could be my birthday gift! XD While that sounds sweet, I won’t bring it up, because even I (who am pretty oblivious) can tell that’s manipulative.

Someday, a kitty will populate my life again, and in that day I will be grateful. But today, I’m grateful, because I have a dog I love hanging out with, a great roommate and a loving family. 🙂

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A singer in one of my favorite bands (one of the bands BT introduced me to, actually) died yesterday.

I had just gone onto YouTube to grab the MP3 of their Good Mythical Morning special. I went on Twitter and I saw someone’s retweet, and I could hardly believe it.

I in a way looked up to this guy – he talked about his grandmother’s influence on his life. I chose one of the band’s song as my “song to describe my life” and it took me barely any thought. I bonded with my brother over these songs.

He was gone. It hit me hard.

And I read an article today that he’d been booed off the stage at one of his latest concerts! His voice, and his music defined an age of rock, and people who paid to see him asked him to leave. How unkind is that?

The article said, “I wish we would have been nicer to him while he was alive” and I mean yeah. But is that only because he died? And why, how, can we think it’s okay to hurt someone like that.

Because we think it will make something change, I think. And sometimes it does. But when it doesn’t? What is the right way to say “I want you to take a different tack in life”?

I rarely use negative feedback, but sometimes I do. Is there a different way?

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Finally, I’m making progress learning how to use my new super-cool video editor (that was also free!). I’m making a fanvid for Little Miss Sunshine to a Garfunkel and Oates song. I just discovered I can’t rightly “preview” my video, but I have come so far (YouTube tutorials, thank you!!) that I think I might be able to figure this one out, too.

Q&A:

Any thoughts from your day?


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Dreaming

People say with my personality type I have trouble keeping my feet on the ground. “My heads always in the clouds.” Dreaming all the time.

This never seemed to apply to me.

I called this “Naturally Dreamy” because it was my favorite description of the INFP personality type. I like the word dream, and I like dreamcatchers.

I am analytical, literal, and love definitions and guidelines. I laugh at jokes, see truth in situations, and love my dog.

None of this much seems to say I don’t cope with everyday life.

Today, though, I saw a way that I am nearly always dreaming.

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Homesick

There’s an odd thing about me that not many know.

I don’t even know if my family knows.

I can get homesick.

I often do. I was always asked as a wee kid if I had to go back to my house in the middle of the night because I couldn’t stand the length of the sleepover. I have NEVER returned early, and have sometimes stayed later.

But I usually have that longing not too long in, or near the end of a trip to go back home.

I love being with my friends. When I’m away from them I want to travel to them.

I love being out of my house. When I’ve been in too long I want to go somewhere, anywhere!

My friends are my second life, and the friends I have are closer to second families than actual friends. We are that close. But yet, there is something family about my family that makes me want to come back.

Our home is not a place – our home has always been each other. But, we do fulfill that totally.

When I’m away I get a break from the things that break me down, but at the same time I am not whole without them.

I’m not dealing with an INTJ while being a feeler-perceiver. I’m not coping as my ESFJ Mom talks in an unhelpful yet so cheerful and happy way. I’m free of rebuke, free of correction, and free to be me.

Yet I miss my home.

I want to go back.

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Because no matter how less there is of a bad thing, nobody else has the good things my family has. My family is MINE. And the fact that we have one, is even more surprising.

Because our family is blood, but only just. More than in other families we’ve chosen each other. We aren’t one to say “You’re blood, we have to stay together.” We are by merit. We are by if the other person is detrimental to our health, we will encourage each other to eject. We are sure to make sure we do not stay in super-poisonous relationships. So there is no guarantee we would be family if we weren’t not also friends.

But we are. I have one, and now more than ever, I’m so patriotic about it. They’re my family and you should love them too. Let me show you the ways. They’re awesome.

Never have I left early. Yet I’ve always been homesick halfway through, wanting nothing more than to get back. But I’m with the other ones I love, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Homesick: it’s weird, but a blessing, because you have a ‘home’ you want to go back to.

It’s a place – not perfect – not always helpful – but don’t get me wrong, never EVER bad.

I’m at home there. I actually have a home that I’m at home at – words that I have no definition for! Isn’t that cool?

Q&A:

Have you ever been homesick? What did you do about it?


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40 Teas and 40 Nights

tea-time-mediumI’m at the house…. “It’s day two, and tea supplies are running low…”

Ahem. Tea drinker’s probz. ;)”….. I wrote this in a draft to a friend while I was housesitting for someone.

Whenever I’m cold, I will get a cup. I have trouble staying warm, otherwise. And I drink only herbal tea, most of the time, and it’s hard to overload on that. While I was housesitting I was taking it real easy, and I drunk about 5 cups a day, re-using tea bags, but still using the tea supplies faster than predicted.

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Procrastinating – I do it, too!

I’m not usually a procrastinator.

But today I was.

I procrastinate most often when I have calls to make.

I hate making calls! My adrenaline spikes, I get shaky, and hot. I freak out on the phone, and speak at 100 mph. My voicemails are completely unrecognizable as English.

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I have TWO calls to make. And I don’t waannnnnaaaa!!

So, I’m catching up on Season 1 Good Mythical Morning and not doing:

  • deciding where my life will go
  • reading the 7 books I checked out of the library yesterday
  • catching up on World news
  • the dishes!
  • making a call that may (or may be a royal fail) determine my life future (I’m not even kidding on the importance of this call!)
  • writing my friends

Yes, I also procrastinate on writing my friends back. 😦 Terrible. I’m so worried about disappointing them, and hurting them. Yes, I realize this is terrible.

But, I did do some pressing research I needed to do while I was watching GMM.

These things will get done. I have to trust that I will get the resources I need to conquer this list. I’ll probably start on them (not the calls!) as soon as I write this post.

And hey, knowing what I procrastinate on, might help me do #1. Decide where I want my life to go. 🙂

Here’s to you workers and fighters of procrastination. Big thumbs up.

And to you who procrastinated – good job for giving yourself some time.

Q&A:

Did you procrastinate today?

How do you get comfortable making calls to total strangers?


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Catching up – too cool

I just went to catch up on the blogs I read, and I found these three posts, that all pertain to friends and friendship. How crazy is that?

Life of a Fluro Zebra – Attitude of Gratitude

Today Has Been Canceled. Go back to bed – Moments – reminding me of what I have been learning; sometimes you just got to let the cool things go. Not everybody cool is meant to be your friend. And sometimes a cool thing is just to bring you joy for a day.

Today Has Been Canceled. Go back to bed. – Doing the Right Thing