Naturally Dreamy

A blog about my life as an INFP living with an ESFJ, INTJ, and my pup. I blog about earth-friendly living and life through my eyes – not necessarily in that order. Come put your feet up where life is Naturally Dreamy!

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Commitment Issues

There is a lot of talk about “sticking with it” “trying harder” “if only”.

I also have an annoying custom to take a concept, or truths and apply them from there on out.

Good in theory, but it raises issues down the line. It’s probably most irritating, because it’s below the surface, and so I’ll be acting on guidelines, hints and principles that my friends and family aren’t even aware of, yet I’m doing so because it has been bounced around in enough sources to be shown as true.

And for whatever reason I seek for “universal truth” – rules and ideas that can stay consistent from the first Mesopotamian to the future latex-wearing, space-ship flying generations. I look for truths that apply to people with all religions, and from all countries.  I test veracity by seeing where it springs holes, and how narrowly it has to apply to work.

While this does narrow down the things in which I will put confidence in, it also means that once I find a principle that seems to work over all of these variables, I also apply it to everything – a bit like some with ketchup.

So when people say “if only they’d tried harder” and chorus of nods follows, and then I see this hold up time and again – people who succeed and do great things have indeed ‘tried harder’ in the past and that’s why they’re at where they’re at and happy, successful, world-changing, etc.

Not that I actually want any of those things, but people who have gotten to that point positively influence other people’s lives; I want to positively influence people’s lives; I must try harder.

At what??

Well… here’s where it gets silly.

Free time – what do you think it’s for? You’re probably correct. *ding*

In my head it was a time to practice, try and perfect any and all hobbies I might get or set my hands on, in order to never have “not tried hard enough”.

I’ve also talked over some broad money-concepts now that I’m getting some extra spending money and what am I free to make silly mistakes on and what should really be set aside for necessary purchases? I was advised on what could really be just freely-spent money, and this was the allusion Mom referred to when she discussed this with me.

“That time is your free time! Your “mad-time” like “mad-money” as some people call it. You are not responsible for anything in it. You’ve already taken care of your responsibilities, and you can just do whatever in that time.”

Sillily, I started tearing up. It was too good to be true!

“And if you never touch those paints you bought… or if you want to stop piano tomorrow! Hey, that’s fine.”

Now I was really starting to get it. BT had alluded to this before – how he wished he’d known earlier that starting and not continuing with projects and interests was okay not only okay, but encouraged.

Now, Mom was saying it. And it’s not like they don’t have any experience in these things, both have had regrets that they didn’t stick with or finish one thing or another. Yet despite all of this, and all of their admirable work ethic, they were telling me this.

This made a lot of sense and was freeing! I don’t have to produce something awesome from my free time; I don’t even have to continue with hobbies I’ve started.

The concept of “keep going” “don’t give up” and other such well-intended missives were apparently not always true. Apparently it was okay to chill every once in a while and just make something because I wanted to! or to explore a new hobby with no strings attached, and to be told that I wouldn’t be letting anyone down, or failing someone in someway – the freedom in that was astounding! 🙂

That was pretty cool.

Scan 4.jpeg

This is the painting I made 2 weeks ago with new paints I bought (they came in a wooden box!!), and painted on my free time! 😄 It’s not awesome, to be sure, but for my first time painting (basically), and with those paints I was moderately happy with how it turned out. 🙂 (P.S. – mountains in foreground, sand, then sea  – and the white line is the horizon, lol) (Acrylic paints on copy paper.)



Chatting – No seriously, this is just me rambling

I wrote such a heartfelt post yesterday.

But then I hit control ‘w’ and whatever that does, it does not save your work.

But, I’m feeling talkative.

Anyone interested in listening into my rambles?

I’ve got extra energy – which is weird because I’ve had 2 or 3 rather long workdays, just “worked out” while watching a YouTube video and also finished baking and washing dishes (a miniscule amount of both).

But, yet, I’m not ready to lay my head down and read yet.

Last night, 🎶 I had this dream about you, in this dream 🎶 — no no no lol. Last night I had another weird dream. I was waking partially frequently to keep from coughing, until I thought hard enough about it and realized waking and coughing would be a much more prudent idea.

It was a terrible dream. I also had less than good thoughts before going to sleep and after writing the real (as in coming from deep depths) blog post, I then wanted to spill my guts to my friend about a completely different but pressing subject, but honestly she’s not the one who needs to hear about my whale moans of “why do the good people die” (which is honestly a mask for a much more mean question that I’m always ashamed I think). That’s for me to figure out and come to peace with.

Rimfire survived another surgery! He’s feeling great. He’s not allowed toys for another … 7 days … Any toys. I’ve walked him every other day and ‘chased’ him around the house, but I can feel his frustration and energy levels rising slightly every day and hope he gets them back before the malaise of “I guess it’s this way then” sets in.

I’ve been watching a lot of Kurt Hugo Schneider and Lindsey Stirling videos. I think I started watching KHS’s vids because they have that sort of authenticity that my ear is like “ah, yes this” and I can chill to work after it. Lol I mean after work, to it. It’s real and soothing. And re-re-re-discovered Red. Man sometimes that album is so great for listening to. But yea, Prism is my current fav song. Before that was the Arena. Before that Everything Has Changed. Or Welcome To My House.

Hamilton! I own it now *yayyyy!!*

Erm… Do you ever want to not face sleep? Cause like you think so much more correctly when you’re awake?

What’s you’re favorite song, right now?

Covert Affairs! Who else likes that show? I just started watching it like 3 months ago and I’m on season 4. It’s so awesome! I love how they did character development.

I want to make sure I shut off my computer before too long because I do not need to be looking at the screen anymore today. For TV shows, YouTube, reading fascinating articles, research or even music. It’s time for both o’ us to get a break.

Optimism. That’s my current think. Like, is it good? Accurate or more inaccurate than realism? The worstest of worst could happen and have happened and I’ll still buoy up like right after and be like “Here how about this now?” Sometimes I think, “It’s ’cause you’re incredibly naive, darling” and then I remember, “wait, I’m not” and that only makes me wonder more! 🙂

I’m not saying I don’t take into account facts, because I do – they’re the fuel for my outlook – but I also somehow always am looking for bright words in the midst of sorrow. Is that good or is that bad? I don’t want to be mean, but I want to help people find shore, too.When I get lost in the hopelessness of it all someone showing me what’s going well and a new perspective sets me at ease, but maybe being able to adopt that is also unhelpful for solving real issues. Like for instance, “Trump is bad!!!” people say, and I say, “But he is, let’s us be good and try to change the world” and is that bad or good.

There’s Fi (introverted feeling) again “Bad good, bad good – it can’t be neither!” lol.

I don’t think it is.

So, yeah…

I haven’t seen any recent movies. I’m wondering if there’s any I should rent?

Currently, I’m reading P.G. Wodehouse. I could probably read nothing but P.G. Wodehouse and be comparatively happy, but again, I’d say, “Aren’t I being naive?” Yeah, P.G. Wodehouse might be simplistic, formulaic, and always written in the same voice, but I so enjoy his writing humor. I read a whole book about cricket and had no idea what I was reading – it was like Captains Courageous for me! – but I still enjoyed it. A little more sloggingly, but his writing style is engaging enough.

You know, the kind of thing before that’s great to read before I go off to bad dreams.

But then I’d miss out on Shannon A Thompson’s books if I only read Wodehouse the rest of my life, and that’d be sad. Her books are PURPLE! And it’s really cool to read a purple book. (No, I don’t mean in reality… the way they feel is purple. The world (really bloody fantastically conveyed btw) is shadowed by purple smokey shadows which is the awesomest.)

Also – Grace Livingston, was it? I really enjoyed that book last year “The Obsession of Victoria Gracen”.

I’m no celebrity – and last year I Fi-ha-ha-ha-nally came to grips with that, and how lol not being one is not bad… but, yeah, not not really related, only semi-ily it’s been fun hanging with you virtually.

Hope you all are well. 🙂

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People say with my personality type I have trouble keeping my feet on the ground. “My heads always in the clouds.” Dreaming all the time.

This never seemed to apply to me.

I called this “Naturally Dreamy” because it was my favorite description of the INFP personality type. I like the word dream, and I like dreamcatchers.

I am analytical, literal, and love definitions and guidelines. I laugh at jokes, see truth in situations, and love my dog.

None of this much seems to say I don’t cope with everyday life.

Today, though, I saw a way that I am nearly always dreaming.

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Right in the feelings!

It’s good to feel. Even hurt.

When you feel hurt, remember the other people who cause you to have feelings. Remember how they care about how you are feeling and care if you are hurt.

Then the hurt isn’t so bad, eh? Not with that balancing out. And you remember feeling is good. What you feel is not permanent, they fluctuate and spin changing to circumstances and situations. It’s good to feel; remembering that they change is an aid to balance a deep hurt or joy, not to banish it.

Just some INFP thoughts on this early night… 🙂



Not Pro Trump or Hillary?

Me neither.

For reasons, which I don’t think would do much good to go into nitty-gritty on my blog – because really, it ends up being so individual with lots of people *sure* they know what’s best, and I’m including myself totally in that crowd. I’m open, but, I also think that I know what’s good for this country.

Have you seen that TED talk about how Democrats and Republicans would work sooo well together if they worked together? Like Republicans with their budgeting prowess could help fund the ideals of Democrats (loosely the general idea, as I remember it, lol). I was like I hadn’t thought about it but YEAH! THAT’s my type of politics.

Anyways, there is no way I can support Trump for President. (Yeah. I’ll just leave it at that.)

But, I also don’t agree with Hillary Clinton’s policies….

I definitely wanted to vote, and I definitely wanted to make a difference if possible, but how? when I felt like there was no way to vote my conscience?

Well, BT and I accidentally had a talk about politics and what we felt the role of the government was and ended up with some surprising conclusions.

We have a lot of beliefs (again, not going to bog this down with that). But is it the government’s responsibility to enforce our beliefs? When you look at it this way, we realized, heck no!! So, really, we drew our ideals for who we were looking for in office to a person who would govern, not project. Someone who would enable the country to keep running without declaring how the people in it must live – as long as it didn’t prevent others from pursuit of “life, liberty and happiness.”

Ended up, this fit really well with the Libertarian view point. Really? I didn’t quite expect that.


I don’t agree with all Libertarian beliefs. I don’t think that just given the chance everyone would do the right thing (because, humans.) And I think the government preserving the environment is very important, because otherwise money does a great lot towards motivating people to destroy the things keeping everyone alive, and sometimes (environment-wise) we need an outside incentive to say “Don’t do that!! Here, I’ll show you” and if government doesn’t preserve the land, I don’t think we will. (not the best worded, but basically, yeah. I have more facets to this concept, but … I’ll probably talk about that later! :))

But otherwise, I think GOVERNMENT is there to… wow I got off topic.

Here’s what I wanted to say in this post. If you really don’t want to vote for presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, or Donald Trump *maybe* you’d like to look into Gov. Gary Johnson for president, because it gave me a whole lot of hope.

As for his chances? Surprisingly good. He leads polls for the Military, and millennials. He’s polling really well in various states, and in various groups. If Libertarians get 5% of the vote, they’ll automatically be included in all votes from now on, and get government funding. (Of course, we’re hoping he’ll actually win, but if even just 5% could achieve this, yay!)

So sure, I don’t agree with the Libertarians on everything. And I will probably continue to vote all over the board. But here’s what I love:

  • Their campaign is just a wee bit sassy (in a good way) and very fact-based in their promos and it’s hilariously awesome
  • They have (as far as I’ve seen) never once mudslinged in this election
  • They have put forth proof and reasons they should be included in the debates, but didn’t insist or whine when they weren’t, and and when they weren’t included, they live-tweeted during it instead
  • The idea of ‘govern yo’self’ appeals to me (now that I’ve rethought the role of government)
  • I’d actually be really happy (versus just like “let’s get through this” or “I guess I think they’d be good for the office”) if they got elected

So as this crazy, hair-raising election comes to a close, I thought I’d bring this up real quick in case it helped anyone else. 🙂


(P.S. As the only Libertarian in D.C., I think we would have no problem not going too far Libertarian, or in any lack of experience they might have. Being that the President (should be) a part of many parts that make laws and decisions and things happen and stuff, all those other parts I think will help things be actually super well-balanced if Gary Johnson was elected president. So like, if he’s not familiar with foreign policy, we have people for that. And I think they’ll be really receptive to their opinions and input. And they have experience in governing, haha, as he’s been governor of NM, and in some other governmental positions.)

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Sorry, blog

Here’s a little known fact about me – I actually really enjoy blogging. Lol, I know it must not seem like it.

What I didn’t realize when I started this blog was that I wouldn’t want to share my theories and realizations about how to make life easier to handle, simpler to go through, or other things. I didn’t realize I wouldn’t even like to review a product before having it 6 months.

Even though I desire to offer my observations as fodder for other people’s not-wholly-baked theories (yes, I mean half-baked but that’s used in a mean way, I mean it in a good way — I have them all the time where I’m searching for missing pieces and observations for half-crafted theories), I’m too concerned that what I say (especially in blog form – it’s not so intimidating in tweet or tumblr form) will be accepted as the final truth on something.

And I change my mind so much. I’m constantly confounding the British henchman  Ahem, that is discovering new ideas, realizing new perpectives that if I say “here’s a great way to cope with that” or “this idea is so cool!” I am not sure that it is so for years and years afterward. I don’t want to say a thing until I know it’s hard and fast true for me.

What if I said “I’m writing poetry every night to exercise my creative muscle” and then a month from now found out that instead of helping my creativity it narrowed it by locking it down? I’d feel… I don’t know what I’d feel but I wouldn’t like that to happen.

I don’t want to be trivial on this platform either (though I quite enjoy it! Favorite movies, songs of the day, book quotes are posts I’d love to do, but again my brain stops me… in this taken so-seriously (people make a living and write books from their blogs! They are here for yearssss sometimes! and people carve out time to read their favorite bloggers). So it’s like my most earth-shaking theories or nothing, but earth-shaking theories come about once every 2 months, and then I’m not comfortable divulging them until 3-4 years later?

I thought I could be okay with it. I thought “Yeah, I have hints and experience as I’m living. Maybe it could help someone else.” Instead I find them, and hide them away, just in case it’s not fully true. As often it is not. It morphs and changes. And once I click “publish” there is a form of it immortalized.

I’m not even saying “I’m all that” just the idea is hard for me to rebel against so that is one reason (I believe) I’ve posted so little on here.

I’m also not sure what to do about it, if there is indeed something I should do. But there it is. 🙂 That’s what I’m currently problem-solving around so as to hopefully find a way to blog more in the future! 🙂

So ciao! And hey — if you (as indeed you are my readership, so you probably have a better idea than I do on this point!) have an opinion on this, pleassse feel free to let me know in the comments or in this poll! 🙂

Ciao again! And have a great weekend!! 😀


(Multiple choice btw! 🙂 Lol, one choice polls are so tough.)