Naturally Dreamy

A blog about my life as an INFP living with an ESFJ, INTJ, and my pup. I blog about earth-friendly living and life through my eyes – not necessarily in that order. Come put your feet up where life is Naturally Dreamy!


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Commitment Issues

There is a lot of talk about “sticking with it” “trying harder” “if only”.

I also have an annoying custom to take a concept, or truths and apply them from there on out.

Good in theory, but it raises issues down the line. It’s probably most irritating, because it’s below the surface, and so I’ll be acting on guidelines, hints and principles that my friends and family aren’t even aware of, yet I’m doing so because it has been bounced around in enough sources to be shown as true.

And for whatever reason I seek for “universal truth” – rules and ideas that can stay consistent from the first Mesopotamian to the future latex-wearing, space-ship flying generations. I look for truths that apply to people with all religions, and from all countries.  I test veracity by seeing where it springs holes, and how narrowly it has to apply to work.

While this does narrow down the things in which I will put confidence in, it also means that once I find a principle that seems to work over all of these variables, I also apply it to everything – a bit like some with ketchup.

So when people say “if only they’d tried harder” and chorus of nods follows, and then I see this hold up time and again – people who succeed and do great things have indeed ‘tried harder’ in the past and that’s why they’re at where they’re at and happy, successful, world-changing, etc.

Not that I actually want any of those things, but people who have gotten to that point positively influence other people’s lives; I want to positively influence people’s lives; I must try harder.

At what??

Well… here’s where it gets silly.

Free time – what do you think it’s for? You’re probably correct. *ding*

In my head it was a time to practice, try and perfect any and all hobbies I might get or set my hands on, in order to never have “not tried hard enough”.

I’ve also talked over some broad money-concepts now that I’m getting some extra spending money and what am I free to make silly mistakes on and what should really be set aside for necessary purchases? I was advised on what could really be just freely-spent money, and this was the allusion Mom referred to when she discussed this with me.

“That time is your free time! Your “mad-time” like “mad-money” as some people call it. You are not responsible for anything in it. You’ve already taken care of your responsibilities, and you can just do whatever in that time.”

Sillily, I started tearing up. It was too good to be true!

“And if you never touch those paints you bought… or if you want to stop piano tomorrow! Hey, that’s fine.”

Now I was really starting to get it. BT had alluded to this before – how he wished he’d known earlier that starting and not continuing with projects and interests was okay not only okay, but encouraged.

Now, Mom was saying it. And it’s not like they don’t have any experience in these things, both have had regrets that they didn’t stick with or finish one thing or another. Yet despite all of this, and all of their admirable work ethic, they were telling me this.

This made a lot of sense and was freeing! I don’t have to produce something awesome from my free time; I don’t even have to continue with hobbies I’ve started.

The concept of “keep going” “don’t give up” and other such well-intended missives were apparently not always true. Apparently it was okay to chill every once in a while and just make something because I wanted to! or to explore a new hobby with no strings attached, and to be told that I wouldn’t be letting anyone down, or failing someone in someway – the freedom in that was astounding! 🙂

That was pretty cool.

Scan 4.jpeg

This is the painting I made 2 weeks ago with new paints I bought (they came in a wooden box!!), and painted on my free time! XD It’s not awesome, to be sure, but for my first time painting (basically), and with those paints I was moderately happy with how it turned out. 🙂 (P.S. – mountains in foreground, sand, then sea  – and the white line is the horizon, lol) (Acrylic paints on copy paper.)

 


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Chatting – No seriously, this is just me rambling

I wrote such a heartfelt post yesterday.

But then I hit control ‘w’ and whatever that does, it does not save your work.

But, I’m feeling talkative.

Anyone interested in listening into my rambles?

I’ve got extra energy – which is weird because I’ve had 2 or 3 rather long workdays, just “worked out” while watching a YouTube video and also finished baking and washing dishes (a miniscule amount of both).

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Dreaming

People say with my personality type I have trouble keeping my feet on the ground. “My heads always in the clouds.” Dreaming all the time.

This never seemed to apply to me.

I called this “Naturally Dreamy” because it was my favorite description of the INFP personality type. I like the word dream, and I like dreamcatchers.

I am analytical, literal, and love definitions and guidelines. I laugh at jokes, see truth in situations, and love my dog.

None of this much seems to say I don’t cope with everyday life.

Today, though, I saw a way that I am nearly always dreaming.

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Right in the feelings!

It’s good to feel. Even hurt.

When you feel hurt, remember the other people who cause you to have feelings. Remember how they care about how you are feeling and care if you are hurt.

Then the hurt isn’t so bad, eh? Not with that balancing out. And you remember feeling is good. What you feel is not permanent, they fluctuate and spin changing to circumstances and situations. It’s good to feel; remembering that they change is an aid to balance a deep hurt or joy, not to banish it.

Just some INFP thoughts on this early night… 🙂

 


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Not Pro Trump or Hillary?

Me neither.

For reasons, which I don’t think would do much good to go into nitty-gritty on my blog – because really, it ends up being so individual with lots of people *sure* they know what’s best, and I’m including myself totally in that crowd. I’m open, but, I also think that I know what’s good for this country.

Have you seen that TED talk about how Democrats and Republicans would work sooo well together if they worked together? Like Republicans with their budgeting prowess could help fund the ideals of Democrats (loosely the general idea, as I remember it, lol). I was like I hadn’t thought about it but YEAH! THAT’s my type of politics.

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Sorry, blog

Here’s a little known fact about me – I actually really enjoy blogging. Lol, I know it must not seem like it.

What I didn’t realize when I started this blog was that I wouldn’t want to share my theories and realizations about how to make life easier to handle, simpler to go through, or other things. I didn’t realize I wouldn’t even like to review a product before having it 6 months.

Even though I desire to offer my observations as fodder for other people’s not-wholly-baked theories (yes, I mean half-baked but that’s used in a mean way, I mean it in a good way — I have them all the time where I’m searching for missing pieces and observations for half-crafted theories), I’m too concerned that what I say (especially in blog form – it’s not so intimidating in tweet or tumblr form) will be accepted as the final truth on something.

And I change my mind so much. I’m constantly confounding the British henchman  Ahem, that is discovering new ideas, realizing new perpectives that if I say “here’s a great way to cope with that” or “this idea is so cool!” I am not sure that it is so for years and years afterward. I don’t want to say a thing until I know it’s hard and fast true for me.

What if I said “I’m writing poetry every night to exercise my creative muscle” and then a month from now found out that instead of helping my creativity it narrowed it by locking it down? I’d feel… I don’t know what I’d feel but I wouldn’t like that to happen.

I don’t want to be trivial on this platform either (though I quite enjoy it! Favorite movies, songs of the day, book quotes are posts I’d love to do, but again my brain stops me… in this taken so-seriously (people make a living and write books from their blogs! They are here for yearssss sometimes! and people carve out time to read their favorite bloggers). So it’s like my most earth-shaking theories or nothing, but earth-shaking theories come about once every 2 months, and then I’m not comfortable divulging them until 3-4 years later?

I thought I could be okay with it. I thought “Yeah, I have hints and experience as I’m living. Maybe it could help someone else.” Instead I find them, and hide them away, just in case it’s not fully true. As often it is not. It morphs and changes. And once I click “publish” there is a form of it immortalized.

I’m not even saying “I’m all that” just the idea is hard for me to rebel against so that is one reason (I believe) I’ve posted so little on here.

I’m also not sure what to do about it, if there is indeed something I should do. But there it is. 🙂 That’s what I’m currently problem-solving around so as to hopefully find a way to blog more in the future! 🙂

So ciao! And hey — if you (as indeed you are my readership, so you probably have a better idea than I do on this point!) have an opinion on this, pleassse feel free to let me know in the comments or in this poll! 🙂

Ciao again! And have a great weekend!! 😀

 

(Multiple choice btw! 🙂 Lol, one choice polls are so tough.)