I felt like sharing how I finally came to terms with that thing that’s been bugging me since January. It was the. easiest. thing., but it took me this long to realize it, and since I’ve written this much about already (An Inside Look at My Brain During Conversation, The Hidden Diamond of Acceptance, Real Talk With Me)… why not finish the saga?
But it wasn’t enough to make a whole new post for, so I thought I’d combine it with this recipe I really wanted to share. 🙂
So, you know – newbie-friend I met and who left? Yeah. Well I finally am not missing them anymore, because of one key thing I realized.
I was out of state and meeting new people and having a blast, but twangs of sadness still hit me, until I was driving along and it hit me all of a sudden (for the second time but with different words) “YO! You! YOU DIDN’T LEAVE.”
And all of a sudden I felt peaceful. Benigment – er, benign? Beneficial? Er, Idk. Happy, basically. See, I guess what happened is despite the fact that I was the one who reached out and re-initiated contact after a message failed to send. Despite the fact that I said, I can stay in touch if you want to. Despite that I was not the one who said, “Nah, let’s stop.” Despite the fact he said that it had absolutely nothing to do with me….
Despite ALL OF THAT, my brain was so used (cue me starting to laugh at myself) to being the one to move to a different state, different country, forget to write, be too nervous to write, and all-around usually always be the one who moved away it didn’t quite clue in that I didn’t.
So I was going around all sad because my brain, stuck in a rut, is like “Wow, you really miss him. How come you didn’t give it a chance, huh? How come you went away? How come you broke it off, when it was actually going well?” But it never said all of the last questions loud enough for me to hear (symbolically-speaking) and so I only ever thought “Wow you miss him. You messed this up, there must be something you can do.”
Once I realized, “Olé! It’s not you that left, broke it off, or otherwise stopped the train! It was him.” I could breathe about that situation again. I was free of all that worry and sadness because it was not caused by me. I’m cool with someone saying “Leave my life”, but not so cool if I feel like someone invited me in and I just suddenly left, ya know?
Now the thoughts that used to provoke sadness in me are just pleasant – an “I used to know someone who did that” or summat like that. And the catalyst for this switch is laughably simple. 😀 But nonetheless I’m glad I happened upon it eventually.
So there you go. Now this tale has 3 (or 4?) parts. Accidentally. 🙂
And here are an original creation of yumminess, that breaks some flavor-pairing rules BT and I thought we knew! (Them being: Don’t pair berries with cinnamon, and chocolate only goes with certain spices.)
I was house-and-pet-sitting for my friend when I saw that their cookie jar was empty. I wanted some cookies one day, and also to experiment, so I decided to try what popped into my head first – “I feel like chocolate chip cookies, but also chocolate chip cookies that embody the taste and feel of fall!…”
So here’s what came out:
(I didn’t measure anything but the butter, again, so I’m sorry for the vaguery!)
- 5T (75g) Butter
- Light Brown Sugar (probably around 3-4T [37g-50g])
- a Little White Sugar (probably 1 T [12g])
- Good shakes of allspice
- A couple dashes of cinnamon
- Splash or two of vanilla extract
- Dash of milk
- Semi-Sweet chocolate chips
- Mini chips
(See, I like to add all the sweet stuff together and taste, because it’s so yummy! 😀 Haha, now we add the meat of it…) Add:
- Flour (my note here on how much is *so helpful* it says “(not too much)” lol) – probably start with 1/3 cup (60g) and go from there
- Craisins – to taste
Mix together to form dough. Roll into Tablespoon balls and cook at a preheated (I usually don’t do preheated but this time, yes!) 350º F for 10-13 minutes.
Voila! Enjoy. 🙂
If you could have any food feel like a season or holiday what would it be?